Kiss and Makeup

I started to transient every memory of us

where I was turned into a form of blush

where we would kiss and makeup and all the signs would lead back to becoming us

and through the spark of just one kiss

where would the rest of the dreams lead and

if that fell back into reality where would we be from here on out.

https://amanpan.blog/2022/11/22/moonwashed-musings-weekly-prompt-transient-november-22-2022/

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In over my head

Feeling dappled under pressure 

Not sure who cares and who doesn’t 

Why must we be caught up in tough decisions 

For if we say no 

Why must it be yes 

If there is a time 

Where the sun is not shining yellow 

Why do I feel like the clouds are rolling in 

And I am in the middle 

I would ask others if they were in my shoes 

What would they do 

They would probably say 

Why all the back and forth 

Just say yes or no 

I feel almost angry 

And conflicted 

Who would be on my side to understand 

Would someone call me selfish 

Or just human being at heart 

Feeling like scrambled eggs 

Where the water in the pan could boil any second 

If you were me how would you feel to be me?

https://amanpan.blog/2022/11/15/moonwashed-musings-weekly-prompt-dappled-november-15-2022/

Butterfly

Butterfly,

will you carry my wings?

Butterfly,

will you make me sing?

Butterfly,

will you protect me?

Butterfly,

Is there still hope in the wings for me?

Butterfly,

I hope you will spread your wings and fly today.

Scattered thoughts

Feeling like I am stubbling above the waters 

And seeing the skies begin to turn black as the night 

But my thoughts still regert back to you waiting for the 

day where I can finally talk with you but it seems like we 

are still talking in silence in real life and all I want to do is

talk with you face to face instead of avoiding the street to 

drive down past your house and I feel like if you were 

going to make a move and talk with me even though I 

know it must hard considering we do not know each 

others snapchats but wouldn’t you think that someone 

who loves you with their whole heart would do anything 

it takes to be with that person? And I know we can only 

talk to each other through our dreams right now but 

sometimes I want to find you and it is still so hard to like 

nothing ever seems to be the right time and I am left 

typing my own thoughts in my stories because I cannot 

talk to you in person and that is leaving me directionless. 

https://amanpan.blog/2022/11/08/moonwashed-musings-weekly-prompt-directionless-november-8-2022/

Sky of the stars

Your mind of me caught me like the moon

Where the sky was always black and white

Like a photograph with no filter

But coming through the lens only

Kept me curious

As I began to dream of an alternate universe

Where my stars blinked at me twice like my eyes

Where my heart of you could never lie

And I never knew as the stories began to hit the magic

That I would write the magic of a wand inside of a sky filled letter.

Never just saw the stars as space

I only ever saw the stars

As reading the birth chart

And knowing the signs like they were my

astrology

And with the time of birth we would know

everyone’s rising sign.

You came like a dream in recarnation

You expected me to believe that we had met

before our stars collided through this week but

the universe was a few steps ahead of us making

us both think it was all just a dream and the

stories we wrote were just a play on words and

we had never had these experiences before

except just inside of our heads beginning to think

that we have imagined the whole thing

happening but that is what you told me is like

recarnation inside of our dreams.

You read my mind

You were able to see more than just my stories

but to capture my mind before anything has ever

happened before was like a dream that you

suddenly thought was imaginary and that we

only ever made up but after so many months we

started to realize that we could read each others

minds.

Autumn Sweet sounds of October

Autumn what a sweet sound of the coming October that channelled every step until it became part

of her dreams and once the season of Autumn

laid down her wish in the moonlight there

was just one sound that caught her attention 

and that was the rhythm inside of her heart

that never lost a count of the beat, but where Autumn will find you so will the movement of

the rose petals piano keys that wrote the song one heart could only speak through the language that

only you and I can understand,where one word becomes a story that was written in the season

of summer but was found in the rose petals of Autumns soundless secrets of October wishes.

https://amanpan.blog/2022/10/04/moonwashed-weekly-prompt-autumn-october-4-2022/

My Life Diary: The Night was my Petals

What you thought of the night once you had left in the morning after the other night of romance and with all of the flowers that you gave as roses it wrote me as petals and when you reached my heart I only played as a rhythm of my heart once you called me love and then the other time was half of my heart before you had left me and then you started to feel every word in my dreams and when I began to write the stories you only spoke to me in roses.
I only ever found the heart before I had let you runaway, runaway before you caught the flowers but the night were the flowers of the roses which were the ones I had caught as romance of you.
If you went down, then I would runaway with you, with all the words that I never spoke of it only ran away like raindrops through the trees of what was mine and what was yours too.
It was only by the dozen of the roses that had my heart by the moonlight of the moon that had my heart with you that never went down to the end of the story that had my dream of you too.
Spoke of rose petals
A night or two
Loving every dream I get to have with you
Sunshine was my rain
And the petals were my thorns of roses.

The future held me like thorns that wrapped as more around my body leaving me with pain to figure every little thing and all I ever wanted to do was to figure the dream and the puzzle piece to fly like a butterfly where I can fly where I feel like wings and make my heart find the dreams of me where my dreams can rewrite the stars.

Insecurities play me like a harp
Where my soul sings the words
But I do not smile
I just hide behind the rose
Petals of my mask.
Insecurities play with my mind
Like my inner thoughts could speak the truth
But listening to my own music
Is like listening to my mind.

My Life Diary: The Raindrops

Sunsets and raindrops makes the day feel so dark like the sunshine has evaporated into thin air before the moon has a chance to show at night but when the rain comes through the clouds it all makes the day feel just like night where it is raindrops in the storm all over again through the clouds.

Where did the time go with the rain as it passes through it feels like it could never seem to stop but as you get closer it feels like your mind would get caught up in the rainstorm.

Whatever comes love will wait as long as it is by my side and even though we both want to not be apart life has given the way to wait until that time is right and the rain can finally stop as the chills only came from the cold of the wind.

My Life Diary: The Red Roses

Waking up
Never wanted to go to sleep
Running back and forth and I forgot to breathe but you bring me closer to the things I could no longer see but you ran around my mind and caught me like a blue rose butterfly, I began to fly but I got caught up in the web not sure what to do or how to make my decision and I tried to look at faith to show me the way but it still feels like my heart is not in the right place or right way and I am trying to hold on before I can let go but the thorns are already bleeding in my soul and dripping blood like I don’t know where to go and I feel like my dreams keep telling me to never give up and try again but I feel like I am on my own out and inside of my mind that feels just like a shadow and there is only raindrops that are fallen from the sky to the blue eyes of the moon and you held me in your arms and we began to write our stories like we were writing the same pages and getting to the dreams that hit me like a dream even though reality makes me feel angry and I can’t seem to guess the code because everyone around me is treating me like a game piece where each time they flip the cards I found a jack in the box where the rose petals are supposed to be but I am not covered in petals but I feel like I am stuck in the mirror of my own hidden reflections where one is telling me to do one thing and the other one is sending me inside of a dream between my future and my past even though I have fallen and faded through the eyes of life where I wonder if someone is going to tell me the truth or just believe in their own words of lies. The dreams may be connected by one future where pain is not a word that starts with ordinary but it all fades away like thunder and smoke where I felt like writing a song but it ends up into a story of silent hearts.
Silent hearts, rip me like a new thorn, where the roses are my shallows of the ocean of petals, where I try to dive into the rain being eaten by the other words alive, because all of the lights that hit me like a spotlight where I am just the letter of rose petals being written by blood underneath the moon, where the blue roses began to burn into me like flowers petal after petal they caught the flames before I was able to gravitate into the air before I faded away and the rain could not wash me away clean but I chose to fight the night before the enemies consumed me, and love became my beautiful night of a dream.
Beautiful night of a dream
Where thoughts became my story
And the center of the lyrics became my therapy where if you hid the love language like you were talking abcs then you would have found the words to tell the same riddles as a lopsided pumpkin who only wanted the cake and ice cream to fill in the broken heart that only cried glass of water but it was actually tears and then you began to write the letter of positivity instead of living by the philosophy of negativity
Where lyrics stared at me and sang to me a beautiful night of a dream where the message was clear as glass as well as the story.
You may have woken up to start again but this time it is more than the moon meets the end and before the time hits the midnight it will become sunset of a beautiful night.

Wanting to be a red rose of mystery
But I could never just escape the petals that told the story of you and me and until you came back with the riddles of coming back home from the sky until we fell asleep and went from a dream to reality and once the kiss of the night was laid down on my lips where petals only consumed my heart from the moon to tears and the roses that brought me flowers to heal my good and bad days but letters were always my red roses painting where everyone mixed passion with life stories but all I ever wanted was dreams and to be able to face the one things that feared me.
Having to catch the flier by the day instead of before they both said goodbye not just with words but love of us was always on the tip of our tongues.

You were always more than a friend to me that always spoke to me at night and never held my heart for the words of any explanation but you chose to speak to me through my mind and I considered writing as a form of therapy to speak through the tip of my tongue to you but you chose to speak only with through my mind instead of in person because everyone would want a word or explanation to how we began to meet and I know that you and me don’t want to answer questions about the history and my life and your life may still be complicated as a story of a letter that was only told by yours and my main character.
But at least we both never ran from slipping through the heart of our life but we just chose to face the beauty with humor so let’s just end with a riddle of dreams and rose petals.
Your roses are thin
But your heart is more
Can you tell who loves to kiss and tell more?
Me or you?
Or is it just the rose petals of the air we both breathe?
And if the heart is much more than it can beat them why don’t you love the petals more than the rose petals?
The imagination of love
Was greater than life and that was until the spell became a reality and we both only spoke about the life in a dream so just be patient and wait for me.

Hitting the eyes like it was a brand new sky and all of the words began to flow out of me like no one wanted to hear the voices behind the words but they did listen to the lyrics of different songs that I could not sing but that I let control me and I don’t want my voice to be controlled I just want to be heard but it seems like my heart is being pulled into different directions that cannot show me the path or the light of where the lyrics of the songs will take me.
Where does like take you
When you feel like no one around you
Or even through the screen will even listen to you because it feels like we are the skulls of the brains and they are the ghost talking to us in whispers.
When I wake up
I felt a shock
Like a generator but I just wanted to sleep
And stay in my dreams
But that was before I woke up to the alarm clock of morning when I was sure I set the time for the nighttime.
I don’t want to open up the letter
To the person I was not expecting to write me through the internet but I rather get the envelope of rose petals in person than it be delivered by text message before I never wanted anybody but you in my dreams and in my future before the past and the dreams began to collide through the storms I never thought I ever get through but then the rainbow shed through the light of the sunshine.

One of those nights
Where nights are becoming fall
And the seasons are almost unbreakable
But the love in our hearts cannot ever seem real until they fall apart and you just want them close to you without ever leaving you in the dark but just wanting the truth to see you for real and the love of the two hearts to never leave but just to keep you from behind the heart of the rain.
One of those nights
It all fell dark inside of my eyes
And when I looked through the window
And stood still I saw everything through the rain I could feel and even though it all fell through the sky worldwide I knew that more was an option than just surfing through the waves without ever looking back to survive.

While my day may feel it was toasty with the s’more of my dreams but I still felt like a chocolate chip cookie and a movie of comedy to speak my language of humor.
While my day may have sparked the fire and I felt like I was ten steps backwards instead of going forward but I still catch myself before I went back on the board and I began to roll the dice again just to see the lyrics that began to play and rewind.
While my day may have caught the daylight of an ending I only began to not stare at the time as I felt like I was still going backwards not forward and it made me feel like a s’more.

The dark was not just the light
But it touched me like a petal
And I only loved more than I could ever listen and wake me up like I was a dream and I ever since love caught me like the blue eyes I fell for the moon as soon as he told me that he loved more than he could ever have told me too.
The dark was more than the night
But not until I found the light
That found my heart and made my life more than art.
The dark was more than the night
And I found the song of true love
Just around the corner
From the playlist that sets my mood
But plays my feelings on a loop.

True love
Was a story that I wrote from inside of a dream
Where history repeated and I hoped we both would stay the same but we seemed to dream different about the life at night where we felt like driving out of town until we could reach the sky of roses and then the night would speak with more courage than just the roses of beauty.

As I held the moon along with the stars I knew that I was the sunset thy could be spoken through the arms of my own soul as the skin fell through the skies of the moon where I felt like a brush painting of a portrait of poetry where the dreams settled into the background of the picture and then it all became the night of the sunset days.
As the moon held me like a crystal I began to see through all of my dreams that made me think of the night that was than just living proof.

Coming off like a skyscraper
Finding the words
That feel like heights
But only can I know put them into perspective as they flow from me like blurred lines and once the petals have reached the roses it all feels like more than a mile where we are traveled away in the night where the stars and us seem to align.

Closed caskets
Running voices without air
Not sure where to go
Or where to fall
Feels like life is closing in
Like thorns where petals
Are the least of my dreams worries
And upon thinking about the past
I have reached the once upon a time
Chapter quite fast where every word has been my clarity and life has been full of unexpected moments and memories but thoughts of life have continued to reach me as I have thought of everything I have been feeling what is right and what is wrong feels like thoughts running in circles through my mind and made a dream feel like real life.
Hidden intentions not sure which one was the truth only playing everything by ear except to the words of the stories I could not hear and making petals last for days where I was here and it feels like I am so faraway but so close to the ending of where I could almost want to fly away and words cut me just like a knife but even then I knew that everything had a price and through my lips I could only see every word that was feeling like life inside of the real me.
Where you may your art a story
I made my writing the life of a dream where everything may caught me off guard but I was keeping tabs on where I was going to be found and just like the closed caskets my dreams were found in the words of the story of the flowers that were once hidden inside of a moonlights attic.