Hiding Behind the Lens

Caris Reid, “Liminal Lunar Water Watcher,” 2016

Me,

I always felt like I was on the other side of the glass just looking through all of the photographs and never really seeing me in any of the photos because I was always blurred out or kept out of frame because I could never smile with my teeth

Me,

I would rather be single than be the one that has to take the punches with words from hater that only looks at me with their eyes like they have been holding it in and now that it finally came to surface they are drowning on the waters they made into waves

Me,

I know my place in this life and whether it is with you or not I haven’t quite figured it out yet but I already know the answer to that question and everytime I shake the magic eight ball it comes to same shape and same print no

Me,

I know I dream of us in a house and you are doing art while I am writing and working on my blog and we are sharing a master bedroom and at the top of my desk I am looking at our wedding photo and we look so happy to be married but in real life we are going through some up’s and down’s. 

Me,

I would rather be single than be the one that has to take the punches with words from hater that only looks at me with their eyes like they have been holding it in and now that it finally came to surface they are drowning on the waters they made into waves

You,

I was kid who didn’t even fit in because I wanted high school to be fresh start and to be around people I know but when it was a new setting I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and when I started a conversation with you that day I knew I wanted to get to know you but something changed and I went my own and we fell silent and never had lunch together because I made some new friends and I left you alone but I called you out for being lonely but in reality I was more lonely because misery loves company

Me,

I know I dream of us in a house and you are doing art while I am writing and working on my blog and we are sharing a master bedroom and at the top of my desk I am looking at our wedding photo and we look so happy to be married but in real life we are going through some up’s and down’s

You,

I may have started to communicate with you through being kickstart21 because I wanted to know you more and then I messed it up by saying that you were lonely and you gave me a fake screen name to teach me a lesson but then you were consumed with guilt and I took it out on you by calling you the name you gave in a sarcastic way because I was upset about how you played me but really I was the one who played myself because I lost you after barely having you and watching someone else almost being the one to take you but I didn’t do anything to keep I just let you go.

You,

I was kid who didn’t even fit in because I wanted high school to be fresh start and to be around people I know but when it was a new setting I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and when I started a conversation with you that day I knew I wanted to get to know you but something changed and I went my own and we fell silent and never had lunch together because I made some new friends and I left you alone but I called you out for being lonely but in reality I was more lonely because misery loves company

Me,

I know my place in this life and whether it is with you or not I haven’t quite figured it out yet but I already know the answer to that question and everytime I shake the magic eight ball it comes to same shape and same print no

You,

I may have started to communicate with you through being kickstart21 because I wanted to know you more and then I messed it up by saying that you were lonely and you gave me a fake screen name to teach me a lesson but then you were consumed with guilt and I took it out on you by calling you the name you gave in a sarcastic way because I was upset about how you played me but really I was the one who played myself because I lost you after barely having you and watching someone else almost being the one to take you but I didn’t do anything to keep I just let you go

Me,

I always felt like I was on the other side of the glass just looking through all of the photographs and never really seeing me in any of the photos because I was always blurred out or kept out of frame because I could never smile with my teeth.

Poetry in Liminal Spaces