Feeling like I have already missed the deadline

The days are numbered,

I still think of you,

I wonder when my dreams will become a reality,

just like the ones I dreamt of you.

You caught me in a time,

where I thought I was going to leave the past behind,

but I still go back only to think when my dreams will finally have an ending to the story.

We both continue to think about one another,

and the dreams we are constantly hoping for,

but as life continues to surprise us in the end,

we are still writing love letters from me to you.

The dreams I still dreamt of you,

where it seems like today all I wanted was you in my dreams,

and I still think everyday of the next morning to the next night when I can dream of you again and again every night.

You see how the stories are being written,

and we may still be waiting until fall for them to begin again,

but the seasons always change the same time a new memory comes again as a flashback in my head.

All I hold in my heart is the dreams of the love that feel for you,

I constantly do think to myself when the road of my destination will end,

just like when you are doing your homework and it feels like forever before you will be able to figure it out,

but you still trust in the journey that someday you will reach your ending point,

and it may seem frustrating and sometimes you may want to blame the other person for not giving you the right number,

but you still try to not hold that grudge that what that person did in your eyes may have been wrong,

and yes they have every write to feel guilty for what they have done to me or to you?

But I have learned to let it go and move on,

and I do trust in you that until you are ready you will find me in the end,

before we meet again at our high school reunion,

and it may not be today,

and it may not be tomorrow,

but it will come we just have to give it time,

and when I give it time,

I mean I have to give it time,

because even though I know that eight years can fly by so quickly,

I realize that patience was never my strongest suit,

but I still am willing to wait for you,

just like you waited for me to talk to you again,

and it still brings me back to that moment,

where I still see my life living the same exact narrative,

looking at the same place as I get off the exit on the highway,

and it may seem like I am on the hill looking over the city at Hollywood Blvd,

but life has brought me so many scenarios I could replay in my head,

of when we would ever meet again,

but as I keep thinking of the future,

I just look into my past self and I still wonder if she was me and what would she do If she was in my position too?

I think she would just tell me to see it and then take the next step from there,

but until you are really experiencing the moment and living out the true life experience,

then you will never know the real story behind those four walls,

and that is the exact same feeling I felt the summer before August when I started high school,

and once I began to live out the story it was nothing like I ever imagined because I fell in love with a best friend who in my dreams I one day hope to call my husband,

but as the days are still numbered and the verdict is still out there,

I am living in the present day by day,

pursuing my life one day at a time,

even though sometimes I feel like I have already missed the deadline.

You look at me everyday with those eyes in my dreams,

and I know that with everyday as you hold me closer and closer,

you will always be there and never leave me,

and even if our future seems like it is not happening as we planned it to be,

I know that what it is meant to be,

will find a chance to be with me.

With everyday,
I still think about all I could ever have with you,
there may be times where it hasn’t come to reality,
but I still wait in secret to see how all of the behind the scenes script plays out,
even though my life feels like a role rather than just the main character,
but life has many adventures and detours and all we can do is stay on the life path of who we are meant to be,
even though sometimes we feel like we have already missed the deadline.

Coming back up for air,

seems like a journey within itself,

even if we may feel like drowning without a board,

to pull us up for air,

and surf and ride the waves,

that life may still have in store,

as the hourglass may run out of sand,

but still find a way to keep the sand,

in the ocean.

We may always want to look back,

and re-paste the pictures,

but the glue has already dried,

unless we can make a wish,

even if it seems like there are only sixteen candles,

to wish upon every number,

and all of the wishes come true,

and are only permanent at midnight,

even when life may seem like we are always missing the deadline.


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